Personnel Threat Assessment

What's Wrong With Ed?

Subject
ED
File No.
215-ED
Status
UNFIT FOR DUTY
Clearance
OMEGA

Photographic Evidence

The subject, dancing, unsupervised
Exhibit A — subject, unsupervised
Surveillance triggers: 0
Chuckles the Clown, a known associate of the subject
Exhibit B — known associate "Chuckles"

Documented Findings

  • Needs to rely on other people to close a sale
  • The smell
  • Chrome tab "management"
  • Doesn't know how to use a computer
  • Only comes in to work for 30 minutes at a time
  • Incapable of telling Kaseya sales people "No"
  • Time Management
  • Ignores meetings and Slack messages
  • Calls it gas-lamping for some reason
AUTHORIZED RECREATIONFREE PLAY

After Hours Arcade

The case can wait.
Beat a high score instead.

Galaga + Tabageddon
Keyboard & touch · Saved personal bests

Case Summary

Total Findings 9
Threat Level CRITICAL
Days Without Incident 0

No incident-free days have been recorded.

Evidence locker

0 / 8 discoveries

Inspect the exhibits. Pull a lever. Take an unauthorized break.

    There is more to this file than meets the eye.

    Classified surveillance footage